I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
operation harelip BJ is a go
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
