Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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