that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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