Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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