i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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