im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
