I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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