I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
