Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
