Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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