So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
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