its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
