You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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