Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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