Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Randomize
