I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
