You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
