Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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