in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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