i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I think I am morally bankrupt
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He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
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She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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