He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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