take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
