He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
