I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize