Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize