Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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