I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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