8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
