is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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