I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Randomize
