there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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