How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Do vagina's smell?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
