Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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