well you can't waste a boner
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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