I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
