In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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