you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
