He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Drake has all the answers
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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