I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
