whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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