The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
honey bunches of taint.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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