last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I need to stop coming to work sober
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
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