Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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