i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
