chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
