this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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