just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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