And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
