Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
