I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
