I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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