Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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