I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
