singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
