he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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