Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize
