i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
